It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
