singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
