perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize