I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
