we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
