She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
