Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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