He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
