just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
being pregnant is like rehab
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
