remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
