I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
