maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
