Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
