I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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