DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
