You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The dick lei will go down in squad history
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
