he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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