doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My vagina is very pro this idea
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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