Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
