you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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