shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
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