I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize