Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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