Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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