i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
