So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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