All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize