dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
