nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
