I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
