hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
