Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
