you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
