My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
