That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
