I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
