on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
