Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
