At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
