ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
