Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
