dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
