too bad you live with your parents still
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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