Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
