dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize