ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
That accounts for only three of the penises
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
