you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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