I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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