ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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