shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
