Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
