I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
