i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
