All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
