I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
