I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize