oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
