I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
