dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize