was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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