she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I still have a little drunk in my system
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I need to calm my uterus...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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