Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize
