i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
