plz talk dirty to me
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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