when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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