It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
