margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize