What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
