I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
