Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
