Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
