I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
she pinky promised me she was 18
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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