I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
