A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
