you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Randomize
