He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
